Honeymoon pt. II: The Dirty Stuff

After Rebecca and I returned from Maine we eagerly uploaded all of our freshly taken digital photos onto the computer in order to check out our handiwork. After a romantic week in one of the most beautiful locations in the world you can hardly blame me for the gritty nature of their contents, but I'm not sure Rebecca was prepared to see them. She seemed more than a little embarrassed. I guess I shouldn't hold it against her though. After all, there aren't many ways that a person can react to dozens and dozens of photos of mushrooms.

I confess. I'm a fungophile. When I see an interesting mushroom I just have to say, 'Oh my! What an interesting mushroom!' And if I happen to have a camera handy, I take a picture. Luckily for me, Maine has several hundred native species of mushrooms. Unfortunately for Rebecca, Maine has several hundred native species of mushrooms. Thus, without further ado, I present a pictorial diary of my week-long journey through the interesting world of New England fungi, complete with made up scientific names and facts. Enjoy!

Here we have a classic example of 'Fungis Normalis;' renowned throughout the world for just how mushroomy it looks. No surprises there!


'Diminitus Anti-Layssimus.' Known for it's tiny size and relative 'cuteness,' this unique mushroom was named for Roger Lay, the creator of the famous Lay's potato chip brand, who died tragically upon consuming one for dinner. Apparently, you can't eat just one...because it will kill you.


'Compulsorum Potpourriorum.' Although quite lethal, this withered species of mushroom has adapted to survive by emitting a potent neuro-toxin, contact with which causes crafters to instinctively add it to any potpourri mixture they can find.


'Dungus Simulacrummus.' While celebrated by gourmands for it's savory aroma and delicate flavor, this appetizing mushroom is only rarely used to its proper culinary extent...because it looks like poop.


'Auria Geriatrica.' Curiously, this common species of mushroom is always old, no matter how young. Scientists first stumbled upon this interesting phenomena while listening to a newly emerged cap complaining about its joints. Tests confirmed that the mushroom was, in fact, crotchety.


'Thissus Reallyisafungissimus.' This aptly named organism really is a fungus. Pretty crazy, huh?

And we'll leave it at that. If for some crazy reason you actually like this kind of stuff, I have dozens of more photos that I'd be happy to share with you. I deny all blame if you should be accused of weirdness. In conclusion, I leave you with a few pictures of non-fungi that I thought were particularly good. Bon-appetit.